The Downside of Gardening: Bugs

The tomato hornworm has to be the creepiest caterpillar I have ever seen. I love wooly worms; in fact, when I see them, I crouch down and pet them, feeling their soft prickly backs. There is something very cute about these wriggly little ground teddies. (They remind me of bears for some reason.)

The tomato hornworm is the exact opposite. It has no fur, just white lines on its smooth green hide that look almost like creases (I try not to get close enough to find out for sure), or perhaps even war paint. They have a little red spiky cowlick on their rear end; the front end looks eyeless (again, I'm not going to get close enough to find out). What is most horrifying about this worm is the combination of its seeming eyelessness and its teethy mouth. [shiver] These things give me nightmares. They remind me of the sandworms in the movie Dune. And yet, to get them off the plant, I have to pick them off, and I'm always afraid that I'm going to squeeze too hard (they grip the tomato plant stems strongly, and are hard to dislodge) and be rewarded with a handful of green goo.

Earlier in the season I found about 5 and blogged about them; yesterday, I picked 6 off my tomato plants and threw them far into the yard in the sun, hoping that, like vampires, they would turn to ash in the sunlight or, even better, be spied and eaten by birds. I like birds. I don't mind feeding them. Today, I found this one and one other. Back to the hornworms in a moment.

Another creepy bug that I have battled before (clearly to no avail) is the Japanese Beetle. They are once again (or still, I'm not sure which) copulating in my greenery; unfortunately, this time they have picked my okra plants as their conjugal beds.

If you look closely, you'll see we have a couple of stray beetles who have either just finished having sex, are about to have sex, or have no interest in sex; you have a couple in the lower right caught in the act, and upon an even closer inspection, you'll see a buggy menage a troi happening in the upper left of the leaf. The only thing worse than thinking about bug sex is imagining one's parents doing it. [shiver]

And now, back to the hornworms. The only good hornworm in my book is a dead one--or one with parasitic wasp egg sacs all over its body, which will soon hatch and eat the worm. Second best is a hornworm that is about to become spider food.

I know spiders are good for the garden, but this one--a wolf spider, maybe? I don't know--is too big for my comfort. I've never really cared for spiders, and the bigger they are, the less I care for them. I have to pick okra around this sucker somehow. [shiver] It does make me wonder, too, if this monster is living in my okra, are there others about? Just thinking about that is giving me goosebumps and making my skin crawl.

I'd feel kind of sorry for the grasshopper, who was apparently dinner, but he's kind of creepy, too, all wrapped up in his spiderweb blanket, his arms across his chest as if he were lying in state in an invisible casket.

Who Knew Bugs Got So Busy?

I have to admit, I really hadn't noticed that bugs had sex lives lives until photographing Japanese Beetles for this blog. I suppose I knew they had to have sex in order to procreate, but thinking about bugs having sex is, well, almost akin to thinking about your parents having sex. Ewww. This is my last bug porn post, so enjoy it while it lasts.

The Japanese Beetles have migrated to a new tree set that I can actually get close to, so before I go knocking them into soapy water and drowning them, I decided to photograph them in their new setting. And, lo and behold, the bugs were having get-togethers in this tree, too! Since I was able to get closer shots (I wish I could figure out my macro settings, but maybe I don't want to get much closer than this), I began to notice that the various pairings are fond of one particular position...and yet, I discovered variations on a theme.

In this picture to the right, the male (I'm assuming he is male) has his front legs in the air. They aren't waving wildly; they are just...there. If they were waving, I could imagine him saying, "Whoa, guys, this bug chick is awesome!" But maybe he's paralyzed with ecstasy? Saying, "Look, Ma, no legs?" Dunno.

In the picture to the left, we see bugs with no legs out, bugs with only one leg out, and bugs still seeking a partner. I feel kind of sorry for them.

But this final picture is my favorite. These beetles are keeping their legs close, and that's a good thing, because they are living on the edge, baby! They look like they are about to fall off the leaf. It is good that bug sex apparently does not require much movement, or this would be their last encounter. Not sure if the bug above and to the right of them is simply there or is a peeping Tom. Are beetles voyeuristic, I wonder?

Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid

In one day, the zucchini plant I took pictures of last night has decided to blossom. The blossom in the foreground will open tomorrow, and quite possibly the one in the background as well. The beginning of the Day of the Zucchini (a la Day of the Triffids) is here! Beware! If you see zucchini plants wandering the streets...cover your eyes and run!

On the bug front, I still see no sign of the Japanese Beetles in my garden--they have decided that they prefer copulating in my decorative trees. I mentioned yesterday how they eat holes in the leaves, creating a kind of lace-like effect. The picture here shows an example of the damage they have wrought in just one day. We have not yet had the opportunity to douse their fiery passions with a soapy water mixture, and today, I'm wondering whether that's a good idea. If we make the tree an unwelcome marriage bed for them, they may decide to take up residence in my garden. But they are also too far up and out on the tree for me to be able to reach most of them in order to scoop them into a bowl of soapy water. Does anyone have advice for me that includes neither chemicals nor the admonition to join them in their insect frenzy? Please?

Bugs Really Bug Me

I looked out the window this evening after working in the garden. I thought I saw black spots, so I closed my eyes to rest them, then reopened them. Black spots. I shook my head (I'm not sure what I hoped to accomplish by that) and then looked again. Black spots. So then I looked more closely, and realized that the leaves of the trees that vine around the upper deck were covered with black spots. And the black spots were moving...and glinting in the sun.

Crap. I know that glint. It's Japanese Beetle time.

I've had run-ins with these buggers before. They are voracious leaf- and fruit-eaters. They nearly destroyed my okra crop a couple of years ago. When they eat, they reduce the leaves of whatever plant they attack to a fine lace and leave other leaves looking like they have been burned by fire. Then they lay their eggs underground, where the grubs overwinter so they can come back and destroy my plants again the next year.

So you can imagine my distress when I saw them, especially with my garden doing so well. I downloaded a couple of documents about getting rid of them. Apparently traps don't work well. My best bet, according to the literature, is to go out in the early morning when they are sluggish and knock them off into a bowl of soapy water. It's too late this year to plant flowers and other vegetation that do not attract them...by the time they matured, the beetles' migration/mating season will be over. I don't want to apply chemicals, so other than the soapy water trick, there's not much I can do. I'll spend time knocking them off tomorrow, and David will spray the trees down with a soapy water mixture. We'll hope that's sufficient. So far, I haven't seen them in the garden, and hopefully they don't like what I've planted so far. Maybe the onions will keep them away.

And trust me, these bugs are "gettin' jiggy wit' it," and in my trees, no less, and in plain sight, where my children (read: kitties) can see them in their pornographic glory!